Memon Jokes

Teacher:
Is Ko Khalis Memoni Me Translate Karo
“You Are Drinking Tea Alone”

Memon Bacha:
Lakh Lannat Toji Shakal Tey
Moua Bagherat Eklo Eklo Chaa Piye Tou.

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1 Makhi Ki Halat Bht Khrab Thi,
Wo Doctor K Pas Gai

Doctor:
Kya Hua?

Makhi:
Bas 1 Memon Ki Chai Me Gir Gai Thi
Ullu K Patthy Ne Chos Chos K Bura Haal Kr Dia.

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Ek Memon Doctor K Pass Gaya Or Bola
K Ghar Ja Kar Mareez Check Karnay K Kitnay Paisay Lo Gay?
Doctor:
Rs.300
Memon:
Chalain Doctor!
Doctor Ghar Pohanchay To Doctor Ne Pocha
K Mareez Kahan Hai?
Memon:
Mareez Koi Nahi Hai,
Sala Taxi Wala
500 Maang Raha Tha!
Or Aap 300 Main Lay Aaye…! 🙂

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Memon: Yeh kela(banana) kaisay diya?
Shopkeeper: 1Rs.
Memon: 60 Paisa ka deta hai?
S.K: 60 paise mein to sirf chilka milega.
Memon: Ley 40 paisay, chhilka rakh aur kela day de
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A Memon on his death time.
My wife, where r u ?
Wife: Yes, I’m here
My sons & daughters are you all here?
Yes, Papa
Memon:To phir brabar wale kamre ka pankha kyoon khula hay ??? :D:D:D

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1 memon 14th floor se neche gira
Girte waqt usne apni ghar ki khirki main apni wife ko roti pakate hue
dekha to chilla k bola
MERI ROTI NAHI PAKANA!
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1 memon ne Arbi ko khoon dey k uski jaan bachai.
Arbi ne usay MERCEDES gift kardi.
Arbi ko phir khoon ki zarorut pari,
Memon ne phir khoon dia.
Ab k bar Arbi ne till waly laddu gift kiye,
Memon:Ghusse se, mercedez kyon nahi di?
Arbi:Munna…!! Ab hamarey ander bhi memono ka khoon dor raha hay:)

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A Memon called a newspaper office and asked: Mera Baap Mar gaya hai, kya
charges hongay?
NewsPaper: Rs.50 per word.
Memon: Oh bohat ziyada hain, Acha likho “Ghafoor Bhai Died”.
Newspaper: Sir! It should be minimum 6 words!
Memon: Oh ho! Jara sochnay do….. Acha likho……. ……… .
Ghafoor Bhai Died – Suzuki for Sale .
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Memon ask to Taxi Driver: Abdullah Shah Ghazi k mazaar jao gay?
Taxi Driver: Han jaon ga.
Memon ne jaib se shopper nikala or kaha: Wapsi main langar ki biryani
lete aana.

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Shadi me 1 memon bahut der tak khata raha,
Kse ne pocha bhai kab tak khaty rahogy?
Memon: Yaar me khud kha kha k thak gya hun pr kya kron card me lkha tha
“Dinner 7 to 10pm
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Memon to dukandar: Yaar zara toothbrush dena mere brush ka 1 baal toot
gaya hai
Dukandar: 1 baal toota to naya kyoon le rahe ho
Memon: jo toota hai woh akhri tha.

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Titanic ke sath Memon bhi doob raha tha aur hans bhi raha tha
Dost: Oye hans kyun raha hai?
Memon: Shukar hai main ne Return Ticket nahi khareeda!

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Memon: Pent Ki Silayi?

Tailor: Rs. 150

Memon: Nikar Ki?

Tailor: Rs. 50

Memon: Ok Nikar Hi See De
Par Lambai Pairon Tk Rkhna…

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Memon larka apni girlfriend k sath
date maar ker wapis aaya to
baap nay pocha, kitnay rupai kharch karey?
Beta: Rs.50
Baap:itne saray kioon?
Beta: Bes uske paas itne hi thai…

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Aik memon ko jin chimat gaya 2 din baad jin khud ek Aalim ke paas gaya aur bola: Janab, Mujhe bahir nikalo mein to bhooka he mar jaonga!

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Memon to his son:
Meri dili khwahish hai k tum bary ho k ‘wakeel’ bano..

Son: woh kyun..??

Memon:
Ta k, mera ‘kaale coat’ tumhary kaam aa jaye… 😉

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1 memon road se guzar raha tha,
achanak usne jhuk kar road se kuch uthaya
aur zoor se chillaya,
kameenaay log
poti b aesi karty hain jaisay koi samoosa para ho..

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1 memon subha so kar utha to
dekha ke uski biwi mar gaye hay.

Wo foran kitchen me gaya or
apni beti ko galay laga kar rony laga or bola,

“1 banday ka nashta kam banana”

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Memon At Petrol Pump

Bhai 1rs Ka Petrol Dal Do

Salesman: Bhai Itna Sara Petrol Dalva
K Kahan Jana Hai?

Memon: Jana Kahan Hai Hm
To Aise Hi Paise Urate Hen…

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‘Ek Memon k Ghar Ko Aag Lag Gai Wo Apne Ghar Ko Bacha Na Saka~

Sochen Q?

Q k Wo Saari Raat Fire Brigade Walon Ko Miss Call Marta Raha’

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Memon k bete ka accident hova.
Dr:ap k bete ki dono tangen ktni parey gi
memon:sir pakr k beth gaya
Dr:kia hua
memon:afsos horha hy kal hi nai chapal dilai thi

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Memon K Ghar Twins Peda Huye

Kisi Dost Ne Kha: Mubarak Ho 2 Bache Huey Hyn

Memon: Aray Yar Bas 1 Kafi Tha Mgr Tumhari Bhabi Ko B Fazul Kharchi Ki Aadat Hy ;->

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1 Pehalwan Ne Ek Mehfil Me
Sirf 1 Limu Se Pura 1 Glas Bhar K
Juice Nikal Kr Sb Ko Heran Krdia & Challang Kia
K Asa Koi Or Kr K Dikhae.
Sb Ne Haar Mn Li
Phr Ek Kamzor Se Admi Ne Nichory Hue Limu Se
1 Glass Juice Nikal Kr Pehalwan Ko B Herat Me Dal Dia

Pehlwn:
Ap B Kia Pehalwan Ho?

Admi:
Mai Memon Hun

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Memon ne Mithai ki Dokaan kholi.
Aur bahar ek ishtihaar laga dya.

“EK MULAAZIM KI ZAROORAT HAY…
JISKO
…SUGAR HO”

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“Mehman Nawazi”

Shaikh:
Lassi Ap Pyoge Nai
Chaae Hum Ne Pilani Nai
Roti Ka Time Nai
Bottle Ka Mosam Nai
Ab Btao Kya karen?

MEMON:
To Phir Balance He Dalwa Do!

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1 kawa Memon Se Roti Chhen k Urr Gaya.

Memon B kaway k Pechay Bhaga

Jb Bhaagte Bhaagte Thak Gya To Memon Bola:
“Ae Allah Is Roti ka Sawab Abba Mrhoom ko Dena.

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Boy: Ap apni beti ki shadi mujhse ker dain main apko us k wazan k barabar sona dunga

Memon: Mujhe waqt do
Boy:Sochney k lye?

Memon: nahi beti ka wazan barhaney k lye..

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MEMON:
Jao..!
2 dukano se 3-3 kabab le k aao…

Servant:
Janab..!
6 ikhattey kyun nahi..?

Memon:
Nalaik Aadmi..!
Chatni 0r Piyaz ziyada miley gi… ;->

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Ek memon ki shadi men bryani ki jageh pani
zyada dia jaraha tha , ek aadmi ne kaha
bhai sahab thori si bryani milegi ?
pani gale men atak gaya hai………

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Tumne Is Saal Mehnat Se Kaam Kia Hai
Is Liye 5000 Ka Bonus
Cheque De Raha Hon.
Agar Isi Tarha Kaam Karoge To
Agle Saal Is Pe Sign Ker Donga

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Memon K Ghar Se Choontiyan Ja Rahen Thin…
Memon:
Kahan Ja Rahi Ho ?
Choonti:
Bhai Bhooka Marnay Se To Behtar Hai
Hijrat Kar Jaeyn…

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An Old Memon Lady Died In USA ,
Where She Was Staying With Her Daughter.

Daughter Made Arrangements
For The Body To Be Sent Back To Pakistan.

On Top Of The Coffin Was A Letter Which Said;

Dear Bhai,

I Am Sending AMMA’s Body To Pakistan,
As It Was Her Wish To Be Buried In Pakistan .

Under AMMA’s Body Are 12 Cans Of Cheese
For Your Little Boy Ali,
10 Packs Of Chocolates
For Your Cute Little Meena
&
8 Packs Of Perfumes For Your Wife.

AMMA Is Wearing A Brand New Pair Of REEBOK Shoes
For Kaasim Bhai And There Two Pairs Shoes Stuffed
On Left-Side Of The Coffin For Jubaida & Jarina.

AMMA Is Wearing 6 Brand New NIKE T-Shirts,
Large One Is For Sattar Bhai
Other Four Are For His Boys.

She Is Also Wearing Two LEVI’S Jeans
For The Boys.

She Is Also Wearing Swiss Made ROLEX Watch
On Her Left Hand For Johra Baji
And Gold Necklace And Earings For Kulsoom Aunty.

If You Need Anything Else
Do Let Me Know,
Because ABBA Is Also Not Feeling Well.

Regards
From Juleikha, Abdul Gafphar & Chokra (Kids)

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Memon Ko Current Laga…

Begum Ne Memon Se Poocha:
Kuch Howa To Nahi..?

Memon Bola:
Mujhe Chorr
Bahir Jaa Kar Deakh
“UNIT” Kitne Gire Hai.

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Aik Memon Ne Apna Nayaa GHAR Construct Kia
Construction Ke Baad
Ooper Walay Portion Per PAINT Karaaya……….
AUR Neechay Waaley Portion Per Likh Dia………….
“SAME AS ABOVE”

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Sardar:
Soch Raha Hoon K USA Ghoom Aaon
Kitna Paisa Lage Ga?
Memon:
Kuch Bhi Nahi..
Sardar:
Wo Kaise?
Memon:
Sochne K Liye Paise Nahi Lagte

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Frnd 2 Memon:
Jb Grmi Prti H To Ap Kya Krte Ho
Memon:
Hm Sb A.C K Samne Bet Jate Hain
Frnd:
Jab Us Se Bhi Ziyda Garmi Parti Hai To
Memon:
Phr Hm A.C On Krlte Hai.

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Memon Apnay Betay Ki Kamyabi Per
Khush Ho Kar Bola,
Mang Beta Jo Mangna Hay,
Beta:
Aba Sochnay Kay Leyae 1 Min Dain.
Thori Dair Baad Beta Bola:
Aba Mujhay Car Chaheay,
Memon:
Beta Tum Nay 1 Min Manga Tha
Woh Maen Nay Deydiyah
Ab Aish Karo….:->

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Memon Aur Pathan Ne Smandar K Kinary
Par Board Daikha Jis Par Likha Tha.?

“Dobty Ko Bachany Walay Ko 500 Innam”

Pathan:
Main Challang Lagata Hun Aur
Tum Mujhe Bachana Is Tarha 500 Milain Gay:-)

Ye Keh Kar Us Ne Challang Laga Di
Memon Khamoshi Se
Daikhta Reh Gaya To Pathan Ne Chila Kar Kaha .?

“Mujhe Tairna Nahi Aata
Tum Mujhe Bachate Ky N Nahi??:-(

Memon:
Tum Ne Neche Nahi Parha.?
Neche Likha Tha?

Lash Nekalne Walay
Ko 1000 Ka Innam… =P <-;

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